The Good Mother by Sue Miller

Thirty years ago my four gal friends and I read Sue Miller’s gripping novel, The Good Mother. Not only did we read The Good Mother, we went to hear fellow Cambridgian Sue Miller speak at our local bookstore. Just out of grad school and starting new jobs, none of us were married and the idea of having kids barely discussed. Yet for a couple of weeks in the late 1980s, this book about a young divorced woman raising her daughter, dominated our conversations. We felt “grown-up” as we parsed Miller’s words and opined on the novel’s dramatic outcome. 

Three months ago we decided to reread the novel. We have all been married to our husbands for close to thirty years and have ten kids between us. Rereading the book was like visiting our younger selves. This engaging and well-written novel hadn’t changed, but our views about the book had evolved. We all arrived at a more nuanced understanding and appreciation for the complexity of the story.

The Good Motheris about a young thirty-something woman named Anna Dunlap. She and her ex-husband, Brian, marry young and divorce young. Anna seems passive and unemotional about both her marriage and divorce. In an amicable process, Anna is awarded custody of their three-year old daughter Molly. Brian moves to Washington D.C. and marries a woman named Brenda.  

Soon Anna falls for an aspiring artist named Leo Cutter whom she meets at a Porter Square laundry mat.  Leo’s energy and intellect captivate Anna and they begin an intense relationship. With Leo, Anna discovers parts of herself that were previously unknown to her. Her sexual relationship with Leo is physically and emotionally fulfilling.

The book follows Anna‘s life as she attempts to balance her desire for her boyfriend Leo, her devotion to her daughter Molly and her work as a piano teacher and lab assistant. Anna, Leo and Molly settle into a sweet routine together in Cambridge. Anna says toward the end of the book, “We were all – Molly too-we were all happy. It was part of the new world he, my lover, opened up to me, where I was beautiful, sex together was beautiful, and Molly was part of our love, our life.”  

When Molly tells her father Brian of an unusual encounter with Leo, chaos ensues.  Before long, Anna needs to hire a lawyer as Brian will not listen or understand. Soon, a heartbreaking court battle for custody of Molly begins. The court scenes convey the harsh scrutiny and double standard women face in front of male judges

Miller’s book reveals the multi-faceted layers of feelings that exist in relationships and the extra burden placed on women who seek to fully embrace their dual roles as wives and mothers - lovers and caretakers. 

Miller’s psychological insight is impressive. She details the most formative emotional events of Anna’s first twenty years as the only child of two distant parents.  We comprehend how Anna arrives at this point in her life and how she responds to this tumultuous turn of events.  Miller’s beautiful writing captures the intricacy and complexity of Anna’s encounters with Brain, Leo and Molly. 

Now that I am in my mid-50s with three grown kids, I can better comprehend the complicated family dynamics. In addition, my strong opinion about Molly’s fate has softened.

Even still, I believe Anna Dunlap was a good mother.